Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!
by NikkzLOVES
Summary: Mikan hates Natsume but she is sold to him by her brother, Tsubasa. What will happen to Mikan's feelings when she lives with Natsume? Not to mention that her crush, Ruka, lives with them as well.
1. Why is it wrong to hate Natsume?

Hi. I haven't been writing for a very long time. Yeah, this sounds pretty much like a letter.

But it couldn't have been a letter, could it?

STUPID RANTINGS.

Okay, just review. I don't care if you did read or not, just review. I'll be encouraged, you see. So be kind and do a kind deed and if you don't

2 TIMES STUPID RANTINGS.

Let's just get this story started. Enjoy~

*In this story, Tsubasa is 'my' brother. I'll just be using Tsubasa instead of 'my brother'. So just note.

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><p>Story is dedicated to Hayashi Yuuki aka Valencia.<p>

- Thank you for inspiring me to write again, though I had wasted pretty much lots of time.

- Thank you for giving me chocolates in school that ended up melting and staining my skirt and phone.

- Thank you for pulling me, arousing misunderstanding that you are bullying me. Which in fact is not, because I have the chance to scratch and hit you. Sorry for the scratch marks on your wrists, I didn't know it was that bad. –sounds insincere-

- Thank you for buying me a drink that ended up wasting my time.

Remember to read my story, okay?

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><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Prologue**

He was the greatest brother anyone could ever have in this world. He was sweet, caring, responsible, good-looking, took showers everyday, and kicked the ass of the people who bullied me. He was the person in my life whom I can totally trust.

OH. Wait. My brother?

Oh no. I was just describing God – any kind you believe in. Except that God didn't kick the ass of the bullies, if he did, he could have karate-chopped the fattest person in universe to the next dimension! Let me describe how my real brother, TSUBASA, is.

Pompous.

Irritating.

Rude.

As lazy as a tree stump.

Cocky.

Bastardly.

Wouldn't shower until he smelled his own arm pits and make a sour face.

I could go on the on until I reach my golden years. Oh right, let's not forget the biggest reason why he is the undesirable brother in the whole universe.

He sold me in an auction.

Oh, and that's not the end of it.

He sold me to the person I hate next to him.

HYUUGA NATSUME.

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><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 1: Why is there something wrong with hating Natsume?**

"Hey, Tsubasa!" Tsubasa's girlfriend whispered, face leaning close to him. She was staring hard at the stacks of cash Tsubasa was counting. Not to mention drooling as well. "Mikan likes Natsume … right?" Tsubasa stopped counting and stared into space. He placed his fore finger on this chin, finding memories of me and Natsume.

Inside Mikan's room.

Full of Natsume's photos.

They are all scribbled with vulgarities.

Voodoo dolls.

Written plan of destroying Natsume on lots of paper.

Weapons of mass destruction.

Tsubasa snapped back into reality, shrugging his shoulders, "Yeah... YES!" He gave a jump and continued, "Of course, dear. Don't worry. We ARE NOT forcing her. She likes him very much. Really, so much that she's willing to die for him etc." He showed the peace sign.

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><p>""HEY! WHY THE HELL DO YOU HATE NATSUME?"<p>

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. This question has been asked to me for countless times already. I'm sick of it. HEY!

Anyway, my name is Sakura Mikan, currently ten year old studying in Alice Academy.

Alice Academy:

- Only for rich kids

- I somehow got in there due to scholarship

- Everyone is snobbish. Especially Natsume.

I'm currently training my Alice, and to be honest, I'm in the best class you could never get in to. That's how I got in there due to scholarship. In this world, everyone has an Alice. In order to get into prestigious schools, you have to train your Alice everyday. Yup, that's what I need to get into Alice Academy, where I suffered from tortures.

Well, you would probably be asking why followers of Natsume are trying to rip out me.

The reason is pretty simple: I despise everything about Natsume.

Okay, before you guys take out bazookas and form an angry mob, let me explain to you why I despise him.

…

This is hard. Okay, to cut this reason short, it's due to Natsume humiliating me after asking me to be his girlfriend. And I'm so gullible to be his girlfriend! You know when did he start humiliating me? Well, it's about an hour after I became his girlfriend. Ughh! And to add to my sadness, his closest friend, who is also my crush, Ruka, planned this.

You might ask why I became Natsume's girlfriend when Ruka's my crush. Well, this is my plan: Get close to Ruka through Natsume. And as the saying goes: whatever goes around comes around, I landed in an abyss for many weeks. It could have been longer if not for my best friend, Hotaru's help.

So that is why I hate Natsume. Not really Ruka, he just got manipulated by that evil guy.

I have heard everything a Natsume hater should hear.

1. IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO HATE NATSUME?

2. What is wrong with you? -shakes head-

3. COME GIRLS, LET'S KILL HER!

4. DON'T DRAW A MUSTACHE ON NATSUME'S FACE!

5. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY GAY?

6. You're just jealous because he's better-looking than you!

7. She must be mentally ill. Call the mental hospital!

8. GO AWAY, NATSUME HATER! YOU STINK!

9. I, the president of Natsume fanclub of Alice Academy, CONDEMN YOU TO SHUT UP!

10. HEY, NATSUME'S NOT A SISSY! GET AWAY FROM ME!

Yeah, and if I don't get out of here, these fans would definitely carry out threat number 3 without hesistation.

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><p>"Hey Mikan!" Hotaru yelled as I hid in the toilet cubicle from the crazy fans. "Coast clear!"<p>

Oh geez, lucky for me!

I stumbled out of the cubicle. "Hotaru!" I squealed for joy and hugged her. "I'm so glad you had came to save me! You had no idea that I was..." I trailed off when I see Hotaru holding a red plushie. To be more exact, an Elmo plushie. I rubbed my eyes, suspecting my vison wasn't clear. No, I'm right! That was an Elmo plushie.

Hotaru is awesome, she knows that I love Elmo, and here she got a plushie for me after she had saved me.

"Hotaru! Oh my gosh, you got me an Elmo plushie? That's so nice of you! Let me take a look!" I raised out my hand, but she refused to give it to me.

What now? Everytime she wants me to do something, she won't hand me something I wanted to look at.

"Today is my birthday." Hotaru spoke plainly. "Well…Yeah, of course! I know that! Your gift is somewhere deep inside the storeroom in my house. I'll give it to you later." I spoke and raised my hand again. She slapped it. Hard, really hard. I hold back my tears, and this time I'm really mad.

"What do you want?" I demanded. "Go with me to an auction." She stared hard at me.

What! Is she using the Elmo plushie to threaten me to waste my time at a boring auction? She then added with a wink, "It was your plushie, okay?"

OH MY GOSH! DID IMAI HOTARU STOLE MY ELMO PLUSHIE WHEN I HID IT DEEP UNDER MILLIONS OF BLANKETS?

"You must be lying!" I yelled. She then showed me a small tag that I carved painstakingly day and night. I gritted my teeth, Hotaru's really in trouble. Whether she is my friend or not!

She knew that that Elmo plushie means a lot to me! My parents gave it to me before they died. How can she threaten me with it?

When I was much smaller, there was a guy that stole my Elmo plushie and ran away. I didn't care and chased him till the end of this world. When he returned home, he got abandoned by his mother due to being disfigured.

And Hotaru knows that, so why is she doing this?

I decided to talk peacefully with her. Well, it's just an auction, it won't kill me. She is my only friend, and I'm not sacrificing that. I don't like to beat her up like that guy a few years ago.

"Okay, okay. I'll go with you." I said. "Natsume will be attending."

WHAT THE! Did I just hear wrongly? Should I dig my ears? How can she say that when she knows that I hate Natsume to the core!

She stared hard at me again. I clamed down and agreed to it.

Well, you might me wondering what Natsume means to her right? Well, Natsume is Hotaru's crush for a very long time. Perhaps as long as my crush for Ruka.

Hotaru is scarier than other fans. Not in the physical and verbal way, but in the fan girl way. She had a Natsume shrine in the back of her room for daily mediation. That's really crazy, right?

I'm sure you might be asking now why a total fan girl of Natsume is a best friend of a total hater of him. Well, the reason is because I put her into a scribble-a-mustache-on-Natsume-face's-test, and she didn't scream like other fan girls and pull out illegal weapons. Instead, she laughed and said that Natsume with a mustache is pretty cute.

Since I had forgotten about Hotaru's birthday gift, I decided to go the auction with her as a replacement for her gift. Why not? It wouldn't hurt my eyes that much.

And it's not as if I'll be seeing them for every single day of my life.

…Right?

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><p>Hotaru was the sole daughter of a really wealthy family. That's why we got to the auction site in a black limousine.<p>

I scratched my back that had an unbearable itch. Hotaru had forced me to wear one of her silk dresses, which was emerald in color. Ughh… I hate emerald, yet she forced me to wear that particular oner out of so many different colors. Too bad, I have to agree to it since my Elmo plushie is with her. I tried taking it back from her in the limousine on our way to the site but she said that it was with her super muscular bodyguard.

She had even gotten me a pair of black stiletto heels which I just couldn't seem to balance myself even when I'm not walking. I didn't know if it was beautifying or torturing me by putting me with designer labels.

But as we enter the building, I felt thankful for it. The people in the site were totally rich just by looking at their clothes. It would have been a real embarrassment if I came here in tee and jeans.

There were penguin-like waiters with a tray of cubed-shaped thing. It couldn't be called food since hundred of those won't even fill my stomach.

""Mikan! The auction is starting!" Hotaru ushered, gripping her camera in her hands.

One night. It will just be one night glancing at Natsume.

I breathed in and turned to follow Hotaru.

Weird. She's nowhere in sight.

Great.

Great.

JUST GREAT.

I'm in an auction site in an emerald-colored dress that barely covered my body and gave me warmth with a high-heeled shoes that would cause me to fall down at any minute. Not to mention that the sole purpose going here was to see the person I despise the most next to my arm pit sniffing brother.

And now I'm lost.

This is really dead. Everyone seemed to be looking at me and I wanted to escape as quickly as possible. I wouldn't even need to see that ugly guy to infect my eyes.

But I don't know where's the exit.

Then I noticed lots of people going to the left of the room. So instead of waiting in the middle of the room or going around and getting lost for sure, I followed them.

I ended up at what seemed to be the backstage instead of the seats. And judging from what the emcee had said, a few items had been sold off. And bought by just one particular person – Natsume.

"Our next item that needs to be auctioned needs more introduction." The emcee began after looking at a picture. "Let's welcome Tsubasa Ando on the stage please."

Great. Everywhere I go, I hear that stinky man's name.

"I auctioning a young girl off," Tsubasa said. He then flashed the picture of a young girl he spoke off on a screen.

How disgusting, auctioning a person. Not to mention a young girl. I then heard whistles somewhere.

That was so immature.

There were some prices being said and out of curiosity, I pulled open the black curtain that separates the backstage and the stage.

And that was when my face turned really red.

There was Natsume with Ruka sitting next to him.

My face turned red because I still like Ruka, and it also means my hatred towards Natsume. I haven't seen him for quite a long time in reality. In posters, yes, many times, everyday.

I turned my sight to the man on the stage next to the emcee.

And that was when I was really shocked.

WHAT WAS MY BROTHER DOING THERE, STANDING ON THE STAGE AND FLASHING MY PICTURE!

"I'll double the highest price." A voice said. I turned and saw that it was Hotaru.

YAY! She had come to save me!

"Hotaru!" I muttered under my breath and waved at her. She smiled at me. See? She couldn't have abandoned me.

"Going once," the emcee said, "Going twice,"

I crossed my finger, hoping that God would help me just this one time.

"I'll triple the price." Somebody said.

OH NO… My hope… And the voice belongs to no other than Natsume. I wouldn't forget that voice. So sickening.

I looked at Hotaru again. She smiled sadly at me and shook her head.

No, Hotaru. Save me! Save me! I don't want to die!

"Going once, going twice, sold!" The emcee said.

To Natsume!

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><p>Sorry for having such a long chapter. Yeah like I had mentioned above, I haven't wrote for a very long time. This is just simply a compensation.<p>

Hope you like this chapter and review please to give me encouragement! Now I really need you to read after writing such a long chapter for three days. Hahaha.


	2. I've the urge to rip out his nose hairs

**Character Information**

Name: Piggy Mikan

Age: 10

Family: Brother (Tsubasa)

Best Friend: Hotaru

Crush: Usagi Ruka

Nemesis: Baka Natsume

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><p>Nikky: Hey! It's me! I'm back! :DDDDD<p>

Mikan: Hey, what's that! What's with Piggy Mikan?

Nikky: Oh, at the mention of that, I'll be putting up character information on every chapter. Take note, it's based on my fanfic, not the manga.

Mikan: Wait, clarify about the piggy!

-Nikky slaps Mikan-

Nikky: Shut up, Piggy ^^ Enjoy, and please review~!

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><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 2: I'm so angry that I fought the urge to rip out his nose hairs.**

"WHAT. **IN THE F*UCKING HELL WERE YOU THINKING, Tsubasa!**" I charged out to the stage and shrieked right in front of my brother's face.

He, the very person who lived with me under the same frigging roof, surprisingly beamed in glee. "Pack your bag, sis! You're going to live with Natsume and the gang for three months!"

He made it sound as if he was issuing a congratulatory speech.

"**I HATE NATSUME!**" I screamed in complete and utter fury, releasing about a mouthful of spit right at his face. "**HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE RIPPED POSTERS WHEN YOU TRIED TO BUNGEE JUMP OFF MY ROOM WINDOW?**"

"**NO, WHY SHOULD YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE, AUCTION ME OFF?**" I continued my onslaught, as Tsubasa took a frightened step back. "Me, the only person who's willing to live under the same roof as you! Me, who agreed to do your laundry because you have to fake your own f*ucking asthma attack! **ME, YOU'RE ONLY SISTER! ARE YOU CRAZY?**"

He was doing some kind of attempt to calm me down, which I thought was the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

I could have pulled his nose hairs out in that very second.

How could he auction off his sister, who was the sweetest, more hardworking, and much much more intelligent than he will ever be?

.. Okay. So maybe he had some reasons to auction me off.

"Hey, do you think I'm horrible?" Tsubasa demanded, quite offended by my words.

"Hell yeah." I scoffed, folding my arms across my chest defensively.

"Hey, look! I was going to split the money between us!" he explained, giving the big wad of cash a quick shake, "And you said it yourself, you wanted to have a part time job to pay for your school expenses. And Natsume would also give you a weekly salary based on your working hours. I just helped you get the best job in the whole country! You should thank me!"

"Thank you for ruining my life?" I asked, narrowing my eyes towards his direction, "No thank you, you kiss-ass-gay-pinkberry-d*ick-head-armpit-sniffing-sh*it-bowel-movement!"

"Would it change your mind if I said I'll never touch your room again?" Tsubasa suggested, wiggling the perfectly arched brows of his. "And that I'll stop hacking your Facebook account and posting your baby pictures."

"NO." I said with a tone of finality.

And that was when I heard a chuckle.

"Hmm, are you so eager to come into my house?" Natsume, the biggest retard said, "No, I mean into my arms." He then did a really disgusting gesture.

Oh my gosh, when did Natsume become so irritating?

"Hey," Tsubasa waved, "Don't be such a meanie, I'll promise you another thing."

Tsubasa, are you stupid! Nothing can change my mind, nothing!

"I'll not tell other people that you are my sister. EVER."

Seriously?

I snapped my head towards his direction so fast I swore I heard something crack. It might have been my vertebrae, but who the hell cares? He just said we're not going to cross paths. EVER.

"You'd really do that?" I verified, casting him a dubious glare.

Tsubasa snorted in response. "Chyeah, I'll be glad to tell everybody that you're not a cell related to me." He waved around his cash across his face, chuckling in satisfaction with the light breeze it created.

Money-hungry ass.

Without releasing my signature blood-curdling glare from his filled-with-boredom eyes, I stretched my hand forward, clearing my throat a little.

"Gimme my share."

.. Okay. So I'm a money-hungry ass, too. But what do you expected? We're brother and sister. It kind of ran in our blood. I guess the money-grubbing gene went crazy on both of us when we were still in mama's belly.

Tsubasa screwed his face in concentration, as he counted the bills he was to pass over to me. I was pretty sure his remaining brain cells were drying up because it had been a long time since he used that nut of his. If Tsubasa wasn't a pretty boy, he would have to live as a hobo or something, since he was such a noob.

I sat down the wooden bench just behind me, circling my fingers around each of my temples. If I was lucky, I'd find a way to creep into some hellhole and disappear; which I preferred more than seeing Natsume's effing face every day of my precious three months.

"HEY! ARE YOU A MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENT OR A HOBO? CAN'T YOU COUNT ANY FASTER?" I shouted in pure irritation over at Tsubasa, who was still fumbling over the money in his hands.

"You okay?" I heard Hotaru's voice.

Oh god, I totally forget about Hotaru's existence.

"Nope, I wanna die. And I'm really sorry, I never knew that hobo was stupid enough to auction me off.-"

Hotaru surprisingly grinned, "What do you mean? I got what I came here for all thanks to you."

She took out a tape recorder from her designer bag and promptly hit play.

Her grin grew even wider as she saw the horrified expression plastered on my face.

"Natsume's voice," she beamed.

_**I'll triple the price.**_

_**I'll triple the price.**_

_**I'll triple the price.**_

I was sure even the thickest earmuffs wouldn't have enough cotton power to blot out that kind of sound.

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><p>Tonouchi, who came with Natsume, continued to stare at the photo he handed him. "I thought we went to the auction to buy a toaster."<p>

"Yeah." Natsume replied, stretching his arms upwards.

Tonouchi rolled his eyes, lifting his butt off the seat and flicked the photograph right in front of Natsume's face. "This is not a toaster." he stated, emphasizing his words clearly. "This is a **GIRL**."

Kokoro excitedly reached out and plucked the picture from Tonouchi's hand. "Oh wow, she's really pretty!" he exclaimed, as he noticed the girl's expressive eyes and playful smile, "Natsume is the best in the world!"

"Hey, do you really think she's for you?" Natsume scoffed, turning fully to where Ruka was giggling to himself, "She's going to replace Sumire who just took a three-month break, idiot."

Kitsuneme gingerly pried off the picture from the dismayed Kokoro, who looked as he was near bawling his eyes out. "Ten years old? She looks like she could be my aunt!"

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><p>Mama used to say that if you fell in a pothole, don't just stand there like an idiot and pull yourself up. Because if you didn't had the guts to rise up, you'd just let yourself lay there and be trampled by people with really pointy shoes.<p>

Along with her "Hey, get yourself a man that can actually cook, or don't marry at all!" advice, the pothole saying were the two pieces of advice I really did follow.

But I don't know if I should follow her advice now or not, because it was not a pothole I managed to stumble into.

It was a frigging well.

And the frigging well had materialized in front of my eyes as a male being seated at a comfy chair, his hair all sticky-outy since he has just stepped out of the shower. He looked extremely pissed.

I can't blame them, like I instinctively did before when I trip down the stairs or break my mama's china ware.

I mean, if you stepped out of a perfectly relaxing bath and saw a girl the moment you open your closet to get some clothes, won't you be angry?

For you to understand what really happened, let's rewind everything back to when I first stepped into Natsume's house.

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><p>The minute I stepped on the house's gigantic front porch, a random butler guy had grabbed me by the arm, didn't even offer to help me with my baggage and stuffed me into this large living room where I was supposed to wait for them.<p>

I was a tad bit late.

I was purposely taking my time in the shower, pigging out extra longer during breakfast, and stopped by the pet shop to greet my cute animal friends. After that I paid Hotaru a visit to return her the torture devices she had squeezed me into during the Auction night. I could at least make myself happier before I totally immerse myself to the stress of being Natsume's maid.

So when I sat my butt down on a big comfy chair, I expected to see Natsume waiting impatiently and tapping his heels on the floor. But instead of seeing that, I faced two people inside a room that was twice the size of our apartment.

Oh holy hell.

Am I supposed to clean this enormous place up?

I only have two hands, for god's sake!

I was tempted to wallow more in my own self pity, but I decided to snap out of it.

"What?" I yelled at the only guy I see – Natsume.

"Do you even have the right to yell at us when you are blocking our television screen?" Youichi said.

I was shocked. That baby guy actually shouted at me? Does he know who I am?

"Go away, idiot. If you want to ask where your room is, go to the second floor, the third room from the right, then take the elevator in there and go to two rooms from your left, and take the stairs." Natsume spoke in one breath.

I stared at him. I took in a deep breath to calm myself down otherwise I'll probably beat the crap out of him. His face is totally the garbage our house dog always goes finding.

I walked away and circled the gigantic second floor, banging my knuckles in boredom against every part of the wall I passed through.

_**Knock.**_

Knock.

Plok.

I stopped, as the hollowed sound passed through my ears.

Filled with careful curiosity, I knocked on the wall again, making sure my ears were functioning fine. There went the plok sound again.

Stooping onto my knees, I closely examined the certain part of the wall, peeking at its edges for any signs of openings. I didn't exactly know what I did, but in one sudden movement a fairly big patch of wood popped out, revealing a doorway big enough for a girl to slip into.

And I, having a troublesome, curious mind, didn't think twice and simply pushed myself into the secret passage.

Crawl, crawl, crawl.

That was what I did for about ten minutes. Crawling in the dark, with no idea where I was. But I did notice the walls around me was slowly opening up into wider spaces, which made the crawling a bit more bearable.

I didn't exactly know the reason why I got myself into the passage the first place. So I thought of the brighter side-maybe I'd end up to the outside of the mansion, where I could take off and scram from my responsibilities.

It was then I felt something cloth-like touch my palm.

I picked it up, felt it against my fingers.

It was a shirt? I was sure it was, so instead of leaving it lying around there, I dragged it along with my hand.

I also felt that the walls around me had opened up really largely, and the ceiling was high enough for me to stand. But nonetheless, there was no light for me to actually see where I was.

Though my eyesight was temporarily impaired because of the darkness, I was still able to pick up the sounds that reverberated from outside. It seemed like the sound of slippers slapping against marbled flooring, since that was the noise my bunny slippers created when I walk across my bedroom floor.

I also heard vague sounds of talking, but since I was trapped inside an unknown ventilation vent of some sort, I had some hard time figuring out to whom it belonged.

So I pressed my ear against the wooden wall, ignoring the sudden chill that ran through the back of my neck.

But then suddenly, I felt the wall I was leaning to falling forward. I wasn't much of a sportswoman to shift my weight fast enough, so there I came, stumbling out into the open, slightly relieved to see so much light.

It blinded me at first, since I spent so long with not much to see.

Slowly, the brightness receded, and I was able to open my eyes fully.

I blinked.

Blink, blink, blink.

Then I paled, the color in my face draining completely like a flushed toilet.

Because there are four guys, standing around me with shocked expressions painted across their faces.

Oh no, that was not the worst part, my dear friends.

With all the bad luck I'm getting, you may think that it would get any worse than this.

But guess what?

God was lucky enough to have transformed my life into his personal anything-bad-luck trash bin, and I'm pitiful enough to catch them all in my hands.

Because not only where they there, standing around me like surprised vultures, but..

They were also half-naked and swaddled with white towels.

God knows if I was a normal girl I'd bleed to death through my nose right then and there.

It was then that Tonouchi spoke, "Hey, that's my boxers!"

I stared at the cloth I picked up back in the 'secret passage way'.

There was only one word to describe Tonouchi's choice of underwear.

Power Rangers.

* * *

><p>Now I face them both fully clothed and extremely pissed.<p>

"Hey, what were you doing in our closets?" Kokoro asked, leaning forward with his hands entwined together, "Are you a stalker?"

The moment I heard this, I had forgotten about my embarrassment and attempt for humility. I scoffed, unbelieving to what the guy had assumed.

"Me? A stalker? For you guys?" I said, thoroughly out of the be-humble-and-just-say-sorry zone, "What kind of bull crap are you guys feeding on?"

I bit my lip, and grabbed my bag in an instant.

"Look, my brother's a retard." I explained, as I stood up to leave, "He's supposed to be in a nutcase house. He really wasn't thinking straight when he auctioned me off. So could you just disregard everything? I'll give you your money back."

I turned and headed for the door in hope I'm about to be let off the hook.

"Where the hell are you going?" Tonouchi had called from his seat, "We didn't tell you you're fired."

"Your room is by the east hall, last door to your right." Ruka told me, as he himself disappeared through the door, "Our rooms is just across yours."

Ruka, my savior, so you're actually here!

"You're scary, but I guess you'll do." Kitsuneme sighed, planting his hands into his pockets, "Remember not to enter secret passages, by the way. You could get stuck there and die a cold, harsh death."

"Yah," Tonouchi had caught my attention, "Never touch my Power Rangers underwear again, got it? They're limited edition." he added.

"Don't screw things up." those were the only words I heard from Kitsuneme.

I sighed.

I have the feeling I'll be hating all six of them except for my dear Ruka for my whole life.

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><p>Hope you have enjoyed this ^^<p>

Please review!~ :)


	3. Natsume choked his ass off!

Hello peeps! :D I'm back after a long while with another awesome chapter! :D

Don't shake your heads, I know it's awesome XD

So I've decided to stop putting up character information. First, I can't think of anything to write. Second, the most important reason of all, I was criticized by an unknown reader I dedicated this story to. Sigh, this world has no justice T.T

Mikan's daily doodles:

h t t p .c o m /albums/kk107/123blahblah123/natsume2.j p g

If you like this fanfic, please do advertise somewhere:

h t t p : / / i m g 1 4 2 . i m a g e s h a c k . u s / i m g 1 4 2 / 2 1 7 3 / g o g t b l i n k i e i u 3 . g i f

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h t t p : / i m g 1 4 4 . i m a g e s h a c k . u s / i m g 1 4 4 / 8 2 8 2 / m i s s l e m t 2 . g i f

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Hope you would enjoy this chapter :D

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><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 3: I can't even bend over to save my life, since I was so effin' tired.**

"It's that way!" Kitsuneme yelled for the last time before I can go crazy because of his frigging voice.

HAS HE BEEN PLAYING WITH ME? He told me it's the other way the other time!

I decided to ignore him and find my room myself. I could have done that long ago if he didn't talk so much. When I finally found my room, wait, I couldn't even know that's my room if that Kitsuneme didn't tell me. It was full of cobwebs, totally dusty like someone had died before, no lights – wait, there's a gas lamp. But who uses gas lamps these days! And a stack of hay that just fits with this room so well.

"ARE YOU SURE THIS IS MY ROOM? IT'S JUST A PIGTY!"

I stared hard at the pigsty and heard Natsume laughing.

Can't Natsume be more irritating? Seriously…

* * *

><p><strong>Few hours later…<strong>

I heard, for the twenty-third time this day, the phone ring from the living room.

I sighed, as I dropped the broom I had clasped in one hand.

I lazily held the receiver between my fingers, as I pressed it against my ear.

"Hello?" I asked, using that tired tone that I often heard from mama after she had just finished vacuuming up a storm in the living room.

"**OH MAH EFFIN' GAWD, I'M CALLING NATSUME'S PHONE NUMBER! I CAN DIE HAPPILY NOW! PRINCE NATSUME YOU MAY NOT KNOW ME, BUT WE'RE GETTING MARRIED! BOOYEAH! OH WAIT I HAVE TO CONFESS MY LOVE TO YOU! OH MAH SH*IT WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO EFFIN' START-**"

"**IN YOUR ASS, YOU GODDAMNED FAN-SH*IT!**" I roared into the receiver, finally realizing that this was the twenty-third fan girl call my poor ears have heard.

I then banged the receiver onto the phone.

I breathed in and out, hot air passing through my nose like a fire-breathing dragon would do.

I then caught a glimpse of Tonouchi standing like a statue by the doorway with an ice-cream cone in his hand.

"**STOP STARING! HAVE YOU NOT SEEN A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN EVER IN YOUR LIFE?"**

Tonouchi's scoop fell down on the rug with a soft thud.

I stormed off, picking up the broom I left by the wall on my way out.

Tonouchi made a cross sign with his free hand.

"May God have mercy on us."

* * *

><p>"Mikan…"<p>

Mmmmft. Leave me alone…

"Mikan…"

I flailed my arms around, trying to slap away the hand that continued shaking my shoulder.

"Mikan…"

"MIKAN!"

I lifted my head up angrily, with disheveled hair and all, and roared with all the might I could summon up in that very second,

"**FOR THE LAST TIME, I WILL NOT WASH YOUR FRICKING POWER RANGERS UNDERWEAR!**"

The male student before me blinked in fear.

"I was just asking for an e-extra pen…"

I sighed.

Everybody's treating me like a vending machine these days.

First off, Tsubasa auctioned me off to the most sicking guy I ever know – Natsume.

Second was this unknown dude whom I never spoken to, asking me to spit out an extra pen.

Third was my professor, who wanted me to arrange his wind chime collection.

There was really no justice in this world.

Never did I assume that working for a group of people classified as males would be so restlessly tiring. I would understand if they were girls, because we females constantly undergo mood swings and cramps.

But they were MEN.

A man wasn't supposed to instruct a lady (a perfect example was me) to iron his Power Rangers underwear. A man wasn't supposed to ask me to act as a goalpost for him to play soccer. A man wasn't supposed to ask me to make a vanilla ice-cream with those sprinkle kind of thing on top of it, especially if he is the owner of that frigging big mansion. A man wasn't supposed to ask me to pinch his cheeks everyday just to look pretty with cotton-like cheeks. A man wasn't supposed to ask me to suck on his pacifier before he could suck it. A man wasn't supposed to ask me to try all those spicy stuffs before he could eat.

That was the whole lot of data I had collected over a week to prove to others my greatest theory was correct.

Natsume and those people living in his house… are gays.

..Yeah, I know no one would believe me.

Especially those fan-girls that would kill me if they heard it.

But seriously! They were just too picky!

Example:

*****Ruka requested me to fill his bath tub with exactly ½ a cup of lavender extracts and 1/3 chamomile. Oh and I must never forget – his favorite ducky! Tonouchi wanted only Power Rangers pillows, with those cotton-filled ones, otherwise he would rather sleep on the floor even if it means he has to make his LIMITED EDITION Power Rangers underwear cold. Kokoro made it awfully clear to me that he wants 8 new vases of flowers everyday placed by his bedside, so he can sleep. Youichi wouldn't eat his breakfast without exactly a scoop of strawberry ice-cream, 2 scoops of rainbow-sprinkled vanilla ice-cream and his Sesame Street's plate set. Kitsuneme wouldn't sleep at all even if it means to look ugly in front of his fans if I don't leave the lamp exactly at 5/8 luminous.*****

And Natsume.

He is the worst of them all.

He asked me to do simple things that even idiots can do; turn on the air conditioning, switch the TV channel, get his slippers, scratch the silver boxes on his lottery card, feed him food, wipe his mouth…

Not to mention he was freaking cold. He never looked at my direction except to say something sarcastic. But even so, he didn't even look at me. Didn't his mother teach him proper manners? I once saw his pearly white teeth before, but it was because he was snarling with anger when I burnt a hole in his favorite shirt.

If I wasn't so exhausted, I would have poked his eyes out and placed them side by side on my table and observe them. Ehm, yes, I'm quite a philosopher.

I took a peek at the table next to mine. Hmm, Hotaru has not arrived yet. That was strange because she should have come back from her Natsume's shrine.

When I thought things couldn't get any worse, our professor came strolling in with his teaching materials. He said that we would be getting projects that need to be handed in next week.

GREEEEEAAAATTTT. We get projects during the busiest period of my life.

I decided I can do it.

Yes, I'm born a victor!

I'm supposed to kick ass!

GO GO GO!

"YOU CAN DO IT!" I stood up suddenly and yelled.

Everyone was staring at me. I flushed with embarrassment and quickly sat down.

That was when my phone rang.

**BEEP BEEP! I'M A PRETTY LITTLE PIG PRINCESS! BEEP! DON'T EVER TOUCH MY FOOD OR I'LL BEAT YOU UP FLAT LIKE A HAMBURGER! BEEP! BEEP! –**

Who the heck change my ringtone? I cursed when I thought of Natsume. So he knows how to use a phone, huh? He doesn't even know how to eat his food, yet he knows this, huh. Smart.

I quickly fumbled over my phone. Why did somebody even call during class hours?

I flipped my phone open and stared at the screen.

_**Incoming call from:**_K O K O R O – noob #5

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><p>"Why the heck are you calling me? And what's with that pig princess ringtone?" I whispered angrily, knowing the professor would hear me if I were to shout.<p>

"Mikan, what did you put in our breakfast just now?"

Yeah, I noticed that his tone was urgent, but I couldn't get caught now. I was too busy burying myself up in one corner. I swear, if I get caught…

"Can't you call me later?" I muttered into my phone, sending a pleading gaze at my seatmate to lend me his file so that I can cover my face.

"No, that's not it—"

There were lots of fumbling and shouts at the other end of the phone and suddenly it was Tonouchi talking to me.

"HEY, LISTEN HERE! THIS IS TONOUCHI SPEAKING. NATSUME'S CHOKING HIS ASS OFF AND WE ARE TRYING TO –"

"WHAT?" I accidentally released an ear-piercing yell, as I popped out from my hiding place. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR THEN, BRING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL!"

Although I don't like Natsume, even a single bit, I can't let someone die! I must've put something into his omelette just now!

I gave my professor who was staring at me like I was some crazy freak a couple of bows before leaving the classroom.

Kitsuneme was the next to talk.

"You know, we'd REALLY like to try, but a hundred girls just sprung out of nowhere and they're blocking the doorways. I really want Natsume to leave, but there's no way now!"

"I still want my full salary! Alright, let me tell you, call the doctor up. I'll give you the number – Wait a minute…" I was half-way running through my bag for my Elmo phonebook when another person was on the line. It was Ruka.

"Mikan, listen, Natsume can't die. So HURRY AND COME NOW! The girls are trampling the phone line! We are calling with Kokoro's phone now, but it's going out of battery!"

"HELP UUUUUUUUS!" On the other end of the line, I heard Youichi pleading.

The phone call suddenly ended with a "BEEP!". It must have been because of Kokoro's phone battery.

Normally, I would be laughing my ass off. I mean, Natsume choking? If you were to imagine it, how funny would that be? His face would be totally red, banging against his chest, while I tower above him, roaring in evil laughter.

But the idea that I had caused this havoc and he could die without giving me my full salary made me spring into action like a modern-day Superman. Well, of course I wouldn't be ripping off my uniform since I had no superhero suit inside my blouse.

As I sped through the hall, I saw a black limousine parked in the school's parking lot. The windows were rolled down, exposing Hotaru's head.

"HEY! Take my car! I found out that Natsume had choked!" Hotaru waved at me.

I quickly went down and got into Hotaru's car in a second. Maybe not a second, but well…

Hotaru quickly ordered her driver to start driving and I realized it is going at a very fast speed. I held firmly on the driver's seat, afraid that I would lose my life before Natsume does.

"Hotaru, is Natsume allergic to anything?" I asked, afraid to speak too much to Hotaru's angry face.

"YES. AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU EVER PUT THOSE THINGS IN THE OMELETTE." She paused, and continued in a calmer tone, "They are dried tomatoes and excessive chalk dust."

I stared at her, trying to remember if I ever put those kinds of things into the omelette.

"HA! I KNEW IT! Mikan, seriously, I didn't know you would poison a person. Even if he is somebody you hate and –" Hotaru continued on and on for the whole journey about complicated things I don't even bother to know.

I stared at the window, thoroughly confused.

I have never put those kinds of 'ingredients' in. But still, it didn't change the fact that Natsume choked his ass off and is jumping around the mansion and banging his fists on the wall.

I have learnt cooking ever since young from my papa. He taught me not to use the art of cooking against others. Well, of course I wouldn't dare otherwise he would kill me with his rolling-pins.

I have my own ways of dealing with Natsume, and that doesn't include food poisoning. My ways are mostly pranks and sorts, and nothing that can cost someone his life.

The moment the car pulled outside the gates, I can imagine hundreds of girls screaming at the front porch. Some may probably be crying their ass off.

"Can we enter through the back door? We can't possibly get in there by the front door." I hurriedly said.

Before the girls can spot the limousine and thought it was Natsume's, the car zoomed around the house, careful not to make any screeching sound that may cause attention.

As the car finally halted to a stop, I literally fell flat down. Most of the time, Hotaru would help me up, but this time she got out the car and slammed the door before I can call her.

Maybe she's upset because she thought I poisoned Natsume?

* * *

><p>We finally got into the house through climbing over the wall (I don't know how we did that. So don't ask me.) and running through the yard I just gave a trim.<p>

I heard Hotaru clicking her camera on her way, even taking snaps of the bathroom. (Don't ask me why. Even I don't know why a couple of pictures of the bathroom would make her feel so happy.) At least I saw her smile finally.

After many long hallways, we finally got into the living room where the 6 people were standing. Well, except for one, who was jumping around like I had imagined.

In one hurried motion I dumped my bag onto a vacant couch, squeezed myself into their private little circle and tried my hardest to find out what exactly was wrong.

"MIKAN! What did you do?" Kitsuneme wailed, already in the verge of crying his eyes out, "Natsume still owes me my $800! I am so sad! Will you hug me…?" He asked, doing that cute little dog pout which makes fan-girls go crazy.

Well, obviously that has no use on me.

"Hell, no." I stared at him as if he had gone mad.

Then the next thing I knew, they decided to open their mouths all at the same time.

"Maybe he had an upset stomach—"

"Yeah, let's get a needle—"

"No idiots! You don't choke because you had an upset stomach! You choke because you have constipation!"

"Then we should use the needle for the butt!"

"Don't you trust me? It's upset stomach!"

"Why should I trust you! You are not even Albert Einstein!"

"And who the heck is Albert Eins-whatever-his-name-is?"

Finally coming to a decision, I rolled my sleeves up and crack my knuckles.

Kokoro saw this and said, "What are you trying to do?"

I told him determinedly as I gave him a small sideward glance. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

… Okay.

So I was totally clueless and just acting out by instinct. I can't let Natsume die and he still owes me my full salary!

"Natsume – " I told him, with the sorriest tone I could ever muster during that time, which was an epic fail, "Don't hate me too much for this, okay? Not that I mind since I already hate you a lot." I added, making sure he got the right message.

The last thing I saw was the guy frightened, giving me a glance of what-the-heck-are-you-planning-to-do-to-kill-me, before I stretch my hands up together, and with all the strength my upper body had, I banged them against his chest.

His body lurched forward, as I watched, almost in a slow motion type of setting, a half-an-inch circular something pop out of his lips. Natsume then drew a big breath, before going on this coughing frenzy that needed serious back-patting.

I walked towards that thing that pop out of his lips and held it up.

"M n' M chocolate?" I asked as I held it closed to Natsume's eyes. He felt so disgusted that I swear he could have fallen back if not for the couch he was leaning on to.

Natsume rubbed his throat and smiled nervously, "A-ah.. You know, it's not really what you think it is."

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><p>[A few hours before Natsume choked his ass off]<p>

Natsume sat lazily on the couch, one of his hands was holding a packet of M n' M chocolates, and the other throwing the chocolates up in the air.

He was watching a cheesy drama which he didn't bother to know who the actors are.

"Ughh, this is so boring. What can I do here?" Natsume scratched the back of his head and threw another chocolate upwards.

And that was when the chocolate went into the wrong pipe and sent him into a happy extravaganza.

The end.

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><p>"I really didn't mean to worry you guys," Natsume tried to explain, "I swear!"<p>

I broke out into a sarcastic laughter and threw the piece of chocolate in the direction of Natsume. He didn't catch it though, it hit him in the eye.

"Me! Worried about you?" I asked, as I did my narrowed-eye expression that even Tsubasa learnt to fear, "**I WAS WORRIED BECAUSE I THOUGHT I ALMOST KILLED A F*UCKING PERSON, THAT'S WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT!**"

Natsume wanted to say something but that was when my phone rang. With that stupid ring tone. I manage to catch a glimpse of Natsume smirking.

I clenched my fists and yelled straight at the other person on the line.

"Mikan, it's me, Tsubasa," Tsubasa said.

My anger totally rose up when I heard his sickening voice.

"What do you want?" I sighed, knowing that Tsubasa would only call me when there's some kind of mishap. "Your foot got stuck in the school toilet again? I am telling you, I am not going there and –"

"No, it's different this time!"

His voice actually sounded pretty urgent.

"What's so important that you actually called me at this time of the day –"

"Mum's home. She's back from America and is coming to wherever you are."

I stared at my phone, an expression of horror flashing in my eyes. I stood there, frozen in my spot.

"Hey," Natsume called, "Nice ring tone."

I grabbed the innocent table lamp that was by my left and threw it at the bastard.

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><p>Oh god.<p>

I remember the last thing mama said before she and papa migrated to America.

_When I come back, I want to see you with your boyfriend, get it?_

So now, I'm formulating another theory that would later be published in books of many kinds.

I'm oh-so-flippingly **DEAD**.

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><p>Hope you have enjoyed this chapter!<p>

I took lots of time trying to write this chapter and now I feel so tired -_-"

So please, review!


	4. 5 Boyfriends & A Kid?

Hellos, I'm back! :D

Since links cannot be added on this site, I'm not going to post anything up anymore. Those who want to see, you can PM me for the link.

And I've updated chapter 3. So for those who read early, please read again. This chapter is related to that small part added. A LOT. So if you have not read the updated one yet, please do! It's at the end.

Anyway, here's chapter 4~!

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><p>"Power Rangers is so much better than Pig Princess!"<p>

I clenched my fists, thinking about the humiliation I received because of Natsume. But I thought I should at least defend for Pig Princess since I enjoyed that show when I'm young.

"Hey, Power Rangers is just some stupid kind of colored people who goes "HA!" and "HA!", while Pig Princess rules the entire universe and saves the world with her laser eye powers!"

"S…STUPID?" I saw him release angry breath of air from his mouth. Somehow I felt as if I was going to get beaten up in a matter of seconds.

"If Power Rangers didn't beat up those monsters in Episode 4 of Power Rangers Jungle Fury, the world would be in chaos!"

"If Pig Princess didn't use her laser eye powers at the Pig County bridge against the mad and villainous Dracula Hog in Episode 10, who knows what would happen to the Pig Kingdom!"

Natsume, who was watching the match between Power Rangers and Pig Princess, couldn't hold it anymore and finally snapped at us both.

"HEY! Are you both mentally retarded?" He asked, an irritated crease forming on his forehead. "Power Rangers are some annoying gays and Pig Princess is a stinky pig that lives in a stinky pigsty. What's so good about them?" he questioned indignantly, shifting his weight from his left foot to the other.

Natsume paused, enjoying the sudden silence of the room and plopped back down on the couch. When suddenly, he heard knuckles cracking and smirks appearing on Tonouchi and my face. He then knew he should have kept quiet all along the match so that he would not get brutally killed by two sets of bare hands.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Oh…no…" Natsume gulped, as he turned his body to run for his well-loved life.

"BURY HIM ALIVE!" came the unified shout of me and Tonouchi. "THOU SHALL NOT ESCAPE THE RABID WRATH OF THE FORGED ALLIANCE OF TONOUCHI AND MIKAN!"

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><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 4 – Part 1: There must be something wrong here. Because Tsubasa is letting me use his credit cards.**

Believe it or not, Tsubasa had reserved me a room in a fancy hotel, let me use both his car and his credit card just for me to get out of that male-infested house.

At first I thought he was some kind of fan girl disguised as Tsubasa so as to get into the house without being caught. That was why the moment I saw 'Tsubasa', I grabbed the nearest object that could inflict pain and used it as a threatening device.

Which was my beloved dustpan.

"HEY! Are you crazy? I'm Tsubasa!" The fan said in a voice exactly like Tsubasa's.

During that time I was a stubborn ass, so I gave the guy a quick hit on the arm, before taking a few precautionary steps backwards. "Tsubasa? My ass! He's just a selfish noob, why would he let me use his credit cards?"

But after answering about a hundred of questions that I knew only the real Tsubasa can answer, ("How many times do you take a bath in a week?" "Don't know, but I'm pretty sure I can count it in one hand and still hold chopsticks.") I finally decided to myself that the guy in front of me was the real thing.

Tsubasa told me to use his credit card, drive away with his car so I can go to the hotel and temporarily hide my sorry ass from my mother. Right now, she might be tapping into some GPS security system and trying to find where the hell I am.

So I jumped out of my bedroom window, sped through the city streets and right at Purple Star hotel, where I availed my reservation and locked myself in. I thought staying in one place for about five hours was so easy I could even go for a couple more.

But then, I realized during that time, that sitting down on the couch with nothing to do but stare at blank space would eventually give you butt cramps, no matter how soft and uber velvety the cushions were.

I know I can't hide from my mama. But I guess I'll just tell her that I'm not going to get married yet without having my Pig Princess merchandise. (I've got a liking to it these days.)

As you can probably see, Tonouchi's limited edition Power Rangers stuff is way easier to find. But me? I'm just a normal kid that couldn't even get her hands on a limited edition Pig Princess merchandise. Even if I threw myself on the ground and wailed endlessly, Pig Princess producers are not going to give me even a single memo pad.

There really was no justice in this whole effin world.

If there was one thing I couldn't bear with, it was the fact that I hadn't eaten a single bite since the moment I stepped into the hotel. Unlike those other girls who were busy counting every frigging calorie they ingest in a day, I was happy stuffing myself until I turned blue or any other color of the rainbow.

Not to mention eating was the only thing me and Kitsuneme actually agreed on. Well, most of the time. Changmin was always my arch enemy for any last item of food-donuts, sausages, cookies, noodle cups… Every time dinner finally drew to an end and there was a remaining piece of beef on the plate, he wouldn't consider that I was a weak, frail girl that needed it more than he did.

So as to calm down my grumbling stomach, I looked around, stepped out of my hotel room and headed for the elevators.

As I was about to mentally grumble about how brutally rotten my life was these past days, my ears caught that cute dinging sound that the elevator made when it was already on my floor.

Like those any other times that I rode the machine, I had to wait for the doors to open, which roughly took a couple of seconds.

Soon enough the elevator retracted its awfully shiny double doors.

I stared, freaked out, at what I was seeing inside.

Some white-clad, black-haired, ashened-faced zombie girl like those in horror movies?

No.

WORSE.

Natsume.

By the way, he slightly looked a bit more presentable than when he was seated on the couch, choking to until he turned a funny shade of blue.

**Going Once, Going Twice, Sold! / Chapter 4 – Part 2: ****You. Are. Not. Supposed. To. Be. In. Here!**

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><p>"<strong>WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?<strong>" I yelled, horrified, as it dawned to my clouded mind that anytime, anywhere, mama could pop out and yell victoriously, 'Aha, you have a boyfriend!'

Maybe she was even hiding in that humongous flower vase by the hall. I swear it was a foot farther away than the last time I saw it.

Instead of supplying me a valid reason, Natsume simply released an irritated sigh, and rolled his eyes. He took hold of my arm and pulled me in the elevator so hard I almost felt something pop.

Let me just say right now, that I entirely cursed my poor body coordination. Sure, God was kind enough to give me pretty good communication skills and an amazing cooking ability. But the simple things like walking a few meters without breaking expensive stuff? He was kind enough to leave those out for me.

And being my natural, clumsy self, my legs kind of twisted together in a messy jumble and in a few moments I knew I was going to trip on my own frigging feet.

Okay, stop right there. I know what you're thinking.

Natsume did not catch me. We did not get into some romantic position. We, thankfully, did not have to stare at each others eyes, which would probably happen if we _**did**_ get into some ungodly position.

Natsume was enough of a bastard to watch me swing my arms around in an attempt to break my fall, laugh at my facial expression and laugh even harder when I made contact with the floor with a dull thud.

Yeah, he didn't even help me up. He was too preoccupied with heaving his ass up, since he had slumped down on the floor himself, laughing in loud unbearable happiness.

Now you know, why I want to take Natsume by the hair and just… INFLICT **PAIN**.

It took him about a couple of minutes to regain both his sanity and balance. I was already burning holes on his entire being by using by signature blood-curdling glare when he dusted the minuscule particles that had clung on his designer trench coat. While he gave his colored locks a couple of pats, he reached out for the elevator controls and pushed in number sixteen.

"Once we get to the sixteenth floor, I want you to shut up, stand straight, and don't be stupid." he had told me straight up, while he locked his gaze onto the metal barricades of the elevator.

I scoffed at what he said. Stupid? I was stupid? For the information of everybody on this earth as well as the aliens in outer space, Natsume was the one who choke on a frigging piece of chocolate.

Take note-a piece of CHOCOLATE, that even had the catchphrase MELTS in your mouth, not in your hand. The possibility of choking was almost non-existent, and the fact that Natsume was probably one of the few people who almost died eating one made him a pea brained ass.

Aha, that was a nice come-back!

I turned to tell those words right in front of his face.

My eyes caught the sight of a bead of sweat slipping from his temples, to the point of his slightly visible cheekbones, past his reddish lips and right down to his delicate jaw line.

_**Damn hot.**_Came some kind of rabid growling voice from deep inside my head.

I rigidly faced the elevator wall and began to bang my head onto it.

Natsume spared me a small glance and said, "I told you not to be stupid."

* * *

><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 4 – Part 3: ****Give me $500!**

After convincing myself that I was in a stupid state of confusion back a few moments before, I numbly followed Natsume down the hall and right into a majestic, double door entrance by the left wing.

The doors stood a towering twenty-five feet above the ground. I actually had to crane my neck upwards just to see where the knock was.

"Can I ask a question?" I inquired in such blank manner that I bored myself.

"Give me $500 first."

"Why are you here?"

"Where's my $500?"

"Why are we here?"

"Aha, that'll cost you double."

"When are you leaving?"

"Do you want to know the interest rate?"

This conversation, I realized as I rubbed my temples in agitation, was not going to get us anywhere.

* * *

><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 4 – Part 4: ****I watched, horrified and scared shitless, as Natsume bent down in a respectful bow. "It's nice to finally meet you, future mother-in-law."**

The double doors opened in such a majestic manner I felt like Pig Princess when she had her debut party. (Believe it or not, pigs actually reached the age of eighteen in Pig Country.)

The first thing I saw was a long, Victorian-styled table that probably ran twenty-five meters long. Numerous, velvet-cushioned seats stood side by side along its edges, delicate chinaware propped neatly along the surface.

"What's the occasion?" I mused. The room was so enormous my voice bounced from one wall to another, producing an eerie echo.

But then, I heard the voice.

No, no, not a voice.

_**The**_ voice.

"Mikan! Oh my beef-brisket-candy-blob-poo-poo-Jack-Sparrow-is-hawt, I missed you so much, my smoochie-pocky-princess!"

I paled, spun myself to the opposite direction, and attempted to run away, tempted to hide under Natsume's really breezy trench coat.

But Natsume shot his arm sideways, caught me by my shoulders and wheeled me around to once again face her.

I gulped, blinked my eyes, pasted on a fake smile (which made me look horribly weird-looking) and greeted. "Ma-Mama… H-Hello…"

I forced my frigid back into a respectful bow, cold sweat breaking through my forehead.

Once straightened up, she finally asked the question I was afraid she would spew out in a matter of time.

"So…" she said, reverting her gaze to the male that stood before me. "Is this your boyfriend?"

Not how I expected her to react, but I decided it was better she acted sane. Flashing an apologetic smile, I shook my head from side to side.

"A-ah, no-"

But then, those words were forced back into my mouth as Natsume spoke in his semi-deep voice. I watched, horrified and scared shitless, as Natsume arched his back downwards and bent down in a graceful bow.

"It's nice to finally meet you, future mother-in-law."

This was the right time for me to confess that I now believe in karma. Because I stood there, wide eyed and choking on my own saliva.

Yeah. My own saliva.

_**Pathetic.**_ That rabid, growling voice in my head resurfaced again.

* * *

><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 4 – Part 5:**** "So if this is your boyfriend, who are these other four?"**

"So you're Mikan's boyfriend?" came mama's somewhat restricted tone. Her eyes were narrowed into tiny slits, which made her look even more scary than imaginable.

Natsume nodded seriously, "Yes."

WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH HIM?

As far as I can remember, our last few seconds together consisted of constant fighting and loud bickering. He even laughed when I fell in the elevator! Oh, in case he didn't remember, back in the mansion I inflicted physical pain on him. TWICE.

Those aforementioned activities are not the things to be done by girlfriend and boyfriend.

In which, I now release the uncensored truth: we are not related to each other in any way.

But yet, he was riding on mama's questions.

Maybe he knew about my whole dilemma and decided to help me?

I was about to ponder on that possibility when I heard a response from mama that shocked the life out of my system.

"_**So**_, if this is your boyfriend… Who are these other four?" Out of nowhere, the rest of the idiots from the mansion popped into the scenario. "And there's even a kid."

They came from a door by our left. They were all there; Tonouchi the Power Rangers freak, Ruka the wide-forehead-boy, carrying Youichi, the kid mama was referring to, Kokoro the bubble butt, and Kitsuneme, my arch-enemy-in-all-that-is-food.

All dressed up, all sporting nervous smiles. Kitsuneme spotted me standing by the door, grinned, and waved his hand towards my direction in an excited greeting.

I threw him a sharp glare that had a high possibility of saying, _**You're not getting any dessert later, Mister.**_

Kitsuneme most likely understood the statement behind my glare, because his hand slumped down on his side as his face contorted into a child-like pout. I read that as a _**Thanks for screwing up my life **_kind of expression.

"They all turned up in this room at different times, one by one, each claiming that they're your boyfriend." Mama said, her voice weirdly squeezed and her eyes narrowing even more that it was impossible to see a thing.

I let a nervous chuckle escape my lips. There was really no turning back now. I could have escaped mama's wrath with minor injuries if I told her Natsume was a nut that followed me here from a mental hospital. But I cannot think of a way to save myself now that there are four more self-alleged boyfriends I had to excuse for.

* * *

><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 4 – Part 6:**** Stop and Rewind!**

**Flashback: four hours earlier that day…**

_Tsubasa watched as Mikan threw herself down the window, sprinted quietly through the widespread lawn. The moment she revved up his car, it sped through the streets and out of sight._

"_My poor sister," he__ sighed sympathetically, "She's gonna have a real tough time."_

"_HEY Tsubasa! What are you doing here?"_

_Tsubasa turned to see Hotaru standing before the door which stood ajar. Behind her appeared the idiots from the mansion, who looked as if they ran a couple of kilometers before reaching this part of the mansion._

"_Where's Mikan?" Hotaru questioned._

"_I told her to go to the hotel I reserved for her." Tsubasa explained, as he walked away from his spot, "The least she should do is get away from them before mama catches up with her." he said, as he jabbed his forefinger towards the six males that stood behind her._

"_Can you at least tell us what's happening?" Ruka said, as he rubbed his forehead in irritation._

_Hotaru turned to Ruka, "Whoa, you really have a wide forehead, Ruka."_

_Ruka looked depressed, "Thanks, you can play soccer in it too, if you want," he said dryly._

"_Our mama just came back from America." Tsubasa answered, "And she's expecting Mikan's boyfriend the moment they meet."_

"_Really? Why? What happened?" Kokoro said, definitely getting into the story._

_Tsubasa pursed his lips. He then stretched his arms upwards, sat his butt down the plush carpeted flooring and said, "Well... It started when me and Mikan were both little kids."_

**A few moments later…**

"_So that's why she's so violent," Ruka realized._

_Kokoro sobbed loudly,_ _his fingers poised right at the corner of his eyes. "That was the saddest effin thing I've ever heard!" he sniffed, as he plucked off a piece of tissue from the box that sat beside him._

"_Hey, Kitsuneme, hug me!" Kokoro's voice cracked, as he opened his arms up expectantly._

_Kitsuneme stared at him with an unbelieving expression. "Are you crazy?"_

"_How can you be like this to me when I always hug you when you're sad!" Kokoro reasoned, quite offended by Kitsuneme's flat out refusal._

"_Who told you to hug me? I've never asked for it in the first place!" Kitsuneme retorted in full defense._

"_So you're not gonna hug me?" Kokoro asked, his arms crossed._

"_NO." Kitsuneme said in __a tone of finality._

_Suddenly, a mischievous glint twinkled visibly in Kokoro's eyes. He reached into Kitsuneme's pocket, fishing out a packet of mini cookies._

"_Last pack!" Kokoro said in a sing-song voice._

_Kitsuneme stared blankly._

_Kokoro grinned and gave the packet of cookies a tempting shake._

_After a few excruciating minutes of silence Kitsuneme found himself used as a human pillow. As the satisfied Kokoro wailed and crushed him into a rib-damaging hug, Kitsuneme sighed and popped a piece of cookie into his mouth._

"_Well, at least I'm eating right now."_

"_HEY! MIKAN NEEDS YOUR HELP! RIGHT NOW!" Hotaru yelled at the boys._

_Natsume, Ruka, Youichi and Tonouchi continued to immerse themselves in some kind of conversation, while Kokoro continued to be his usual, drama queen (king?) self, as Kitsuneme continued to munch on his cookies in a depressed mannerism._

"_Really, as fast as possible." Hotaru continued to prod on._

_Tsubasa continued to stuff a gigantic plastic bag with some of the idiots's used stuff. Some of which was the empty Kleenex boxed touched by Kokoro, the disposable spoon Youichi stuck in his mouth, the cookie crumbs that fell from Kitsuneme's small plastic cookie container, a picture of Ruka's forehead (it was really BIG O.O) and a strand of Tonouchi's hair._

"_Give it up, Hotaru." Tsubasa said, sparing a small glance over at the clueless six idiots. __"They look as if they wouldn't care less."_

_(ASS HOLES! Sorry I interrupted. I know this is the third person point of view part of the story, and I, Mikan, isn't supposed to be here. But GOD! Conceited five people who don't even take pity on me! Kokoro doesn't count, that guy's a frigging drama queen. [king?])_

_Hotaru nodded in agreement._

_Tsubasa giggled, "I wonder how much I will get from selling these things on E-Bay?"_

* * *

><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 4 – Part 7:**** Natsume's time to ponder on things.**

_As Natsume sat there and listened to Tonouchi blabber, he realized he does look like a Power Ranger on larger scale._

_As he did, a random memory flashed in his mind._

**One fine day…**

_Natsume had pestered Mikan to accompany him to buy noodles._

_But, as expected, people spotted him in the shop, even from afar._

_And out came these shrieking girls, waving their arms around, reaching out their sharp, manicured nails for Natsume who was standing there, poising himself, ready to run._

_"No, no, don't run!" Mikan urged, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him inside the store they just bought from. "They'll still follow you even if you run. Not to mention you'll probably break your legs in the process."_

_"What should I do?" Natsume asked, pressing himself flatter in the wall, making sure he wasn't seen._

_"You don't have to do anything." Mikan assured, as she grabbed a packet of tomato sauce from a random shelf, "Just stay there until I come and get you, understand?"_

_Natsume nodded._

_The crowd outside furiously continued to plug the doorways of the shop. The old man that guarded the store intact was currently protecting himself by using his broom and swinging it around in uneven circles._

_Mikan grabbed him by the collar and said in a harrowed whisper, "Uncle, if you want you and your store to live, carry me on your back."_

_"Young lady, in case you haven't noticed I'm an old man with a weak backbone!" the aging one said, poking Mikan on the stomach with his broom. "And you haven't even paid for that tomato sauce yet-"_

"_NATSUME-SAMA!" the girls outside shrieked, as they saw what it seemed like Natsume's arm pop out the window. It gave a couple of waves, made a peace sign and a thumbs up._

_Mikan made her way back to where the hiding male was, currently having the time of his life doing random hand signals out the window. As he was giggling and attempted a hand puppet show, Mikan hissed at him angrily,_

_"What the hell are you doing?"_

_Natsume released another amused giggle. "Look Mikan, my arm's popular!" he jumped up in excitement. "So are the other parts of my body too, I think-"_

_"Get your arm inside if you don't want to be torn off."_

_Mikan headed out of the shop. On her way out she spotted the shopkeeper, looking as if everything in the world had gone wrong. She noticed there was a new bald spot nestled on the old man's head._

_"Get on, kid." he sighed, "My remaining hair was pulled out by fan girls. I have now lost faith in all things holy. Maybe God will bless me if I let you ride my back."_

_Natsume sighed as he watched the girl disappear from his sight. Great. She just wrecked one of his greatest potentials. Being a puppeteer may be another one of his talents! No one had ever thought of that before. As he continued to grumble in protest in one corner, he wondered what in the world could Mikan do against a couple of hundred girls._

_After a few moments, Mikan popped back into the inside of the store. "Come out now, they're gone."_

_Natsume hurried out of the shop and into the open, seeing an empty street with normal, sane people walking around. No shrieking fans. No mentally-deprived females._

_Natsume turned to Mikan, amazed. "How did you do that? How did you drive them away?" he asked in awe, "Don't tell me you did your Pig Princess interpretative dance." he stated in a scared, hollow tone._

_Mikan shook her head, heaving a tired sigh._

_"So what did you do?" he asked quickly, waiting expectantly for a clear answer._

_Mikan wiped the makeshift blood (tomato sauce) that dripped from the side of her head. She continued to stare at a distance._

_"I told them you're a violent man who bashed me on the head with a piece of wood."_

_Natsume nodded, impressed. "Genius."_

_Mikan sighed, again. "You're stating the obvious, Natsume."_

* * *

><p><em>Natsume snapped into reality. Raising his hand, he managed to attract the attention of the people around him.<em>

_"Yeah?" Tonouchi asked, quite impatiently. He was in the middle of his ever-so-amazing joke when Natsume interrupted._

_There was a momentary pause of silence as Natsume sat there, his hand raised diligently like a gullibly-dull school boy._

_"Well?" Tonouchi prodded. He really wanted to tell Ruka what happened to the chicken after it attempted to cross the road. Apparently it was going to be ran over by an eight-wheeler truck._

_Natsume opened his mouth. "I.." He paused. ".. Have to go the bathroom."_

_Tonouchi shook his head visibly. "Go, then. Knock yourself out."_

_On his way out of the room, Natsume chuckled handsomely at the thought of Mikan saving his ass._

_"Might as well repay the debt and help her out."_

And that was why Natsume decided on being Mikan's temporary boyfriend.

But what he did not know was the others also took a walk on memory lane, realized how the girl had helped each one of them and decided on lending an aiding hand as well.

And that was how Mikan got her five, undoubtedly hot (sizzling) pseudo-boyfriends, and a kid.

* * *

><p>Well, apparently, chapter 4 is over! Yay! :) There are actually 2 more parts, but I decided to move that to the next chapter – a special edition :)<p>

And also, you might realize that the other five (Ruka, Tonouchi, Kokoro, Kitsuneme, Youichi) are also very popular. So that's actually the reason why all of them are living together. Some sort of friendship going on there, I guess. Haven't figure out that yet .

Anyway, please review after reading! I'll appreciate it a lot :)


	5. Special: The Incredibly Good Boy Attack

Hi there~ :) You must be waiting, ne? XD Sorry, but this chapter is going to be pretty short, since it's a –

-drumrolls-

SPECIAL EDITION!

TA-DA!

There will be 2 parts in total, like I mentioned on chapter 4. I'm not sure if this is going to be special, since I didn't intend to use the 2 parts for this chapter . Anyway, here is it!

Enjoy~ :)

* * *

><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 5 – Part 1: ****The Incredibly Good Boy Attack.**

It seemed that Tsubasa informed idiots from the mansion of where I am and what time mama would arrive in the hotel. He might have also informed them that she'll be in the sixteenth floor, preparing the traditional welcome dinner where in all family members must attend.

That was why nii-san sat just parallel to where I was, chewing hard on his steak with full, unbreakable concentration.

"A-ah, let me explain." Tonouchi gathered his courage, raising his hand slightly.

Mama directed her domineering gaze towards the black-haired male. I assumed he'll melt sooner or later under mama's laser-powered-like stare. Within five minutes. You just wait and see.

Mama raised her perfectly-shaped brows, surveying the guy from head to toe.

"Are you really a guy?" she questioned suspiciously. "Because you look like a girl. With that hair."

Tonouchi was beginning to feel mama's secret powers-the kind that broke people's sanity.

I loved to compare her with a blunt axe, since she was fond of attacking people psychologically and when she was dressed in a brown gown, she looked exactly like a piece of twig fallen from a tree stump.

"Future mother-in-law, I know I'm enchantingly beautiful," Tonouchi reasoned out seriously, "But I am a member of the male species."

I had to empty all the water in my glass just to save myself on choking on that statement.

"You see, I'm Mikan's first boyfriend."

Ruka propped his knife onto the side of his plate. "I'm the second." he said respectfully.

"Third!" Kokoro cheered happily.

Kitsuneme was disciplined enough to take a moment off his stuff-my-face-with-food time to say, "Actually I came here for the food, but I'm fourth."

Mama turned to Natsume, who was seated right beside me. "So you're the current one?"

He lifted his arm and threw it around my shoulder. He nodded once, in such serious and believable manner. "Yes, mama." He patted me heavily on the shoulder, as if saying,

_**Say yes or else you won't get your salary for the next week.**_

I had no choice but to nod my head bleakly.

I, by the way, also curse my stupid desire for money, too.

"… So what about that kid?" Mama pointed at Youichi, who was sitting on Ruka's lap.

Ruka carried him up, so that mama can see more clearly, and said in a very sweet tone, "That's our ba-"

Kokoro hurriedly slapped him on his back, "That's Ruka's uh… friend!"

Mama eyed Youichi suspiciously, and sighed.

* * *

><p><strong>Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!  Chapter 5 – Part 2: ****The Incredibly Good Boy Attack.**

"**I WILL USE MY ULTIMATE GREAT TONOUCHI SPECIAL ULTRA-MEGATON ACTION SPECTACULAR SUSPENSEFUL THRILLER ROAD MOVIE LOVE ROMANTIC ADVENTURE REAL EROTIC NEW WAVE FANTASY ODYSSEY GOOD BOY SHOOT THAT'LL MAKE YOU GO FLYING!**"

Tonouchi spewed that statement out in one breath so loudly everyone's eyes popped out of its sockets.

Okay, so it didn't exactly went out even a centimeter, because if it did it would be... Creepy and life-threatening. But it did make us really surprised.

The piece of meat caught between Kitsuneme's chopsticks slipped off and landed on his dessert.

"Hey, Tonouchi… What's happening to you?" I asked him, thoroughly creeped out. The corner of my left eye twitched.

Not all people, I tell you, shouts a diversely complicated and long sentence in the middle of dinner. Except if you're a hobo. Then it would be understandable.

Maybe Tonouchi was a hobo?

Tonouchi did not give a reply to my inquiry. He continued to shoot Kitsuneme with his piercing glares, while Kitsuneme reciprocated this action, attempting to do an equivocal version of Tonouchi's smiting stare.

"I want this fish nugget!" Tonouchi shouted, his chopsticks enclosed on the last piece on the plate.

"I want this fish nugget too!" Kitsuneme argued, digging his dining utensils into the same piece.

"Why?" I asked, pretty confused. I pointed my forefinger towards another plateful that sat before Tsubasa. "There's more over there."

"This fish nugget's shaped like a Power Ranger." Tonouchi replied curtly, his eyes still locked with Kitsuneme's in a glaring palooza. "It even has his eye shape."

"Hey, Kitsuneme, don't be stupid just get from that plate then." I instructed him, hoping he'll drop the issue and go back to being normal.

"No! This fish nugget's shaped like a Hello Kitty!" Kitsuneme wailed. "Right there's the ears, see?"

Ruka bent over to take a look at the reason behind the hubbub.

"I don't see a Hello Kitty nor a Power Ranger." he said, deadpanned. "I just see... A fish nugget."

In that very moment, I want to say so, so badly,

_**Neither do I, Ruka.**_ I sighed, _**Neither do I.**_

* * *

><p>Well, and this is the end of The Incredibly Good Boy Attack :) I hope you enjoyed it although it's short :D<p>

I guess the content I actually wanted to use for this chapter, would have to be used next time then. I really need to use The Incredibly Good Boy Attack content for this chapter since it's related to chapter 6.

Anyway, that long, yeah, I mean seriously long, sentence Tonouchi spoke, was actually said by somebody on a show. If you want to know who it is, PM me. :)

Thanks for reading! And please review~ :)


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